- Southern Comfort is not a brand of bourbon, nor is it a bourbon-based liqueur, nor does it include whiskey of any kind. It is based on neutral grain spirits. Learn it, live it, leave bourbon out of it.

- Jack Daniel's isn't bourbon, either.

- The Mojito is not a trendoid drink. It's been around as long as, if not longer than, the Daiquiri.

- The Daiquiri does not include strawberries. Or banana.

- Flavored vodka has been around since regular vodka. It's not an invention of the '90s.

- The Cosmopolitan, while in fact an invention of the '90s, is a perfectly legitimate cocktail.

- That said, debating the merits of citrus vodka vs. regular, fresh lime juice vs. Rose's, and the ideal brand of triple sec is like dissecting a Jerry Bruckheimer flick. As long as it turns out pink, you can call it a Cosmo.

- Yes, pink. Not red.

- Rum isn't just for tiki drinks.

- Jager isn't just for rowdy college boys.

- Tequila isn't just for rowdy bachelorette parties.

- Nor is there a worm in a bottle of real tequila. Mezcal is another story. (Scorpions. Scorpions!)

- Grey Goose may be priced at $40 a bottle and have won every award from every spirit competition under the sun, but it's still vodka and it still tastes like nothing. (Albeit a very smooth, very clean nothing.)

- A Pina Colada does not include milk, coconut milk, table cream, or any other kind of dairy product.

- Nor does it include Malibu rum. (HATE.)

- If it doesn't include bitters, it's not a Manhattan.

- Price is not necessarily indicative of quality. Galliano costs more than my home stereo system and it still tastes like crap.

- So does Smirnoff Ice.

- And White Russians. (Seriously, just eat a bowl of sugar.)

- Gin doesn't "bruise".

- A shaken Martini tastes exactly the same as a stirred one, only it's cloudy.

- A vodka martini is a waste of liquor.

- A chocolate martini isn't half bad.

- Nor is an apple martini.

- A pomegranate martini is for people who took the Bonsai Kittens seriously.

- A Dirty Martini is for people who don't like themselves.

- A French Martini is, somehow, the best of all.

- There is no such thing as an Extra Dry Martini (or any variation thereof). It's called gin in a glass.

- Vodka doesn't "go with everything".

- Conversely, not everything goes with Coke.

- Or orange juice.

- Or tonic.

- Continuing to drink Bloody Marys in this day and age is like continuing to use a Commodore 64. Upgrade to a Caesar and be done with it.

- The best scotch is the kind served at room temperature. And last call.

- Brandy snifters are for pretentious boobs. Use a wine glass.

- Margaritas should never, ever contain limeade, unless you're making them for a party. Then they're called Let's Get Drunk Really Fast.

- Bottled lemon/lime juice is not an acceptable substitute for the real thing.

- Nor is DeKuyper/McGuinness/Marie Brizard triple sec a substitute for Cointreau.

- Nor is Cointreau a substitute for Grand Marnier.

- Nor is anything a substitute for bitters.

- Nor is Southern Comfort a substitute for bourbon.

So I've decided to join in on Mixology Monday, a monthly melding of the minds for cocktail-swilling bloggers. Naturally, this month's theme (hosted by Michael at A Dash of Bitters) is a drink ingredient I have hardly any experience with at all: bitters. I came across a bottle of Angostura on my last trip to the grocery store, though, so I had to see what the deal was with this ingredient so often called for in classic cocktails.

As it turns out, bitters are (is?) a unique, wonderful thing. I've been adding it to soups, sauces, and whatever else its blend of citrus, herb and spice notes will go with, including (of course) cocktails. There's quite a variety of drinks out there that include bitters, ranging from strong and aromatic (the staple Manhattan) to the sweet and exotic (the "Skull & Bones" from my favorite mixologist, Dr. Tiki; on a related note, I've got to get me one of these).

Now then, the Pegu Club. After browsing a bunch of cocktail recipe websites (one of my favorites is The Webtender, which looks like it hasn't been updated since 1995), I came across the Pegu Club Cocktail. I've heard of the Pegu Club in New York, but apparently this drink dates back to the original Pegu Club in Burma, where English expats would drown their homesickness in a litanty of gin-based libations, including this one.

Now, the Webtender version calls for only Angostura bitters, but some other recipes call for both Angostura and orange bitters. The latter seemed like overkill to me, plus I only had the Angostura, so version #1 it is.

Pegu Club Cocktail
1 1/2 oz gin (Bombay Sapphire, but I plan to try Plymouth)
1/2 oz Cointreau
1/2 oz lime juice
2 dashes of Angostura bitters

Shake with cracked ice and strain into chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wedge. (I used the last of my lime to make the drink, so no wedge here, but I think this looks plenty nice without a garnish.)


My first thought was that it looks a little like grapefruit juice. And somehow, it tastes like it, too - the sour of the lime, the orange of the Cointreau, and whatever the hell Bombay puts into their gin (the label reads like your grandmother's herb garden) add up to a refreshing, sour bite. The drink's taste is strong enough to warrant that "cracked ice" tip, which I usually ignore - shake this thing for a while. (Gary Regan's version calls for 2 oz of gin and 1 oz triple sec; if you use Cointreau, that's one hell of a pre-dinner cocktail. "Fuck the broccoli quiche, Linda, let's all sit around the fire and sing some Zeppelin!")

Next time on Mixology Monday: Drinks for a Festive Occasion. I'm thinking mulled wine and Goldschlager shots.

I liked her "1 Thing" song well enough, but this one is plain great. Great '80s funk bassline, great handclap rhythm, great singing...just greatness. This should have been Beyonce's latest single.