If you've been paying attention up to this point, you might have gathered that I'm not a huge fan of vodka. More to the point, I'm not a fan of the current vodka bonanza, wherein every spirit producer on the planet has felt the need to put their own spin on a liquor that by definition should be the plainest thing on the shelf. I don't want to spend $40 on a bottle of something that has only the slightest wisp of flavor by itself and loses all character as soon as a mixer is added. And call me old-fashioned, but booze should taste like booze, not rubbing alcohol.

However. I still purchase vodka by the fifth out of necessity for entertaining (read: girls and/or lightweight guys stopping by who want something a little more interesting than Corona with lime), and because to be honest, there are a few decent brands out there. Nice, even - vodkas that are smooth without being lightweight, strong but not overpowering, versatile but not a pushover. Again, nothing I want to spend over $25 on, but nothing that will leave me disappointed and reaching for the scotch, which is what I really wanted all along but figured I'd give the much-ballyhooed Stoli a try. (Verdict: Ehh.)

So here, for my own personal record as well as perhaps your own enjoyment or enlightenment if the vodka section of your liquor store is so daunting you don't know where to begin, is a list of the vodkas I've sampled in the last few months (or years, if I can still remember what they taste like), as well as some notes on each. I'll keep updating this entry as I sample more brands. Hopefully I'll finally stumble upon a vodka I can really get behind, but until then, barkeep, just make my Screwdriver with whatever the hell you want.

Absolut. Yeah, with the ads and the overexposure. But you know what? It's good stuff. It smells and feels like plain old vodka in the mouth, but there's a sweet, almost spicy hint toward the finish that's interesting enough to compel me to take another sip. And another. Smoother than Stoli but rougher than Skyy, with enough of a flavor profile to make it stand out from the pack. Absolut tends to finish near last in all the taste tests, but it's a solid choice for me. B+

Absolut Citron. Like the above, only with lemon flavoring. Decent lemon flavoring, too - you can taste the citrus zest, and it's not overly sweet at all. Citron seems tailor-made for Screwdrivers (and it works wonderfully), but it has other uses, too - throw a few splashes in tomato sauce or a fish marinade next time you cook. B

Finlandia. Their website is something hysterical (so much Flash, so little useful information), but they make decent vodka. Very smooth, especially straight out of the freezer (which is where vodka should be anyway). Inoffensive, highly mixable, but nothing remarkable. B

Iceberg. When Iceberg debuted, the Beverage Tasting Institute gave it a 94 out of 100, ranking it second in the world behind Grey Goose. That's some hefty praise for a Newfoundland-based vodka priced at $23 Canadian for a fifth, but it's well deserved. I can't believe how un-vodka this vodka is. The mouthfeel is literally creamy, there isn't a hint of that metallic, mineral bite characteristic of Russian vodkas, and the finish is sweet and fruity. I'm not sure how well Iceberg would mix compared to the more hearty brands, but right now it's the only vodka I'd ever even consider sipping on the rocks. A-

Polar Ice. Bland, but I like the bottle. B-

Skyy. Sexyy. This is the first vodka I remember buying, simply because of the blue bottle. I still buy it because of that (shut up), but it's also remarkably smooth, almost to a ridiculous degree. Chilled, this stuff goes down easier than Kahlua. Skyy works for certain drinks (anything sweet and mild), gets lost in the shuffle with others (anything requiring some oomph). That said, it's my #2 choice besides Iceberg. B+

Smirnoff. I'm tempted to say Smirnoff is underrated, given its bad rap among vodka snobs, but it's also kinda not. There's nothing special about it, but nothing terrible, either. Like Stoli, its flavor notes lean more toward the antiseptic than the fruity or floral, but overall there really isn't much flavor to take note of. If you want your vodka to get lost in the mixer, Smirnoff is for you. B-

Stolichnaya. Double Gold at the 2005 World Spirits competition, 91 points from the Beverage Tasting Institute, blah dee blah blah. I don't see it. If an alien were to visit Earth and, during a conversation about life on this planet, ask me what vodka tastes like, I'd hand him a glass of Stoli. It tastes like vodka. Rough, uncomplicated, mineral aftertaste. I'd use it in a Caesar, but any other time this stuff just seems to get in the way. C+

Stolichnaya Blueberi. Like regular Stoli, this has a strong, slightly bitter, rough taste, but with blueberry flavor thrown in. To Stoli's credit, this tastes like real blueberries, but it's too unsubtle to be sipped on its own. Mixed, this stuff is near brilliant, and suprisingly versatile. Try it with white cranberry juice, if you're into that kind of thing, lemonade, or Coke. B+

This entry was posted by Darryl, on Wednesday, December 27, 2006. You can leave your response.