"Southern Comfort bourbon", and other liquor myths
- Southern Comfort is not a brand of bourbon, nor is it a bourbon-based liqueur, nor does it include whiskey of any kind. It is based on neutral grain spirits. Learn it, live it, leave bourbon out of it.
- Jack Daniel's isn't bourbon, either.
- The Mojito is not a trendoid drink. It's been around as long as, if not longer than, the Daiquiri.
- The Daiquiri does not include strawberries. Or banana.
- Flavored vodka has been around since regular vodka. It's not an invention of the '90s.
- The Cosmopolitan, while in fact an invention of the '90s, is a perfectly legitimate cocktail.
- That said, debating the merits of citrus vodka vs. regular, fresh lime juice vs. Rose's, and the ideal brand of triple sec is like dissecting a Jerry Bruckheimer flick. As long as it turns out pink, you can call it a Cosmo.
- Yes, pink. Not red.
- Rum isn't just for tiki drinks.
- Jager isn't just for rowdy college boys.
- Tequila isn't just for rowdy bachelorette parties.
- Nor is there a worm in a bottle of real tequila. Mezcal is another story. (Scorpions. Scorpions!)
- Grey Goose may be priced at $40 a bottle and have won every award from every spirit competition under the sun, but it's still vodka and it still tastes like nothing. (Albeit a very smooth, very clean nothing.)
- A Pina Colada does not include milk, coconut milk, table cream, or any other kind of dairy product.
- Nor does it include Malibu rum. (HATE.)
- If it doesn't include bitters, it's not a Manhattan.
- Price is not necessarily indicative of quality. Galliano costs more than my home stereo system and it still tastes like crap.
- So does Smirnoff Ice.
- And White Russians. (Seriously, just eat a bowl of sugar.)
- Gin doesn't "bruise".
- A shaken Martini tastes exactly the same as a stirred one, only it's cloudy.
- A vodka martini is a waste of liquor.
- A chocolate martini isn't half bad.
- Nor is an apple martini.
- A pomegranate martini is for people who took the Bonsai Kittens seriously.
- A Dirty Martini is for people who don't like themselves.
- A French Martini is, somehow, the best of all.
- There is no such thing as an Extra Dry Martini (or any variation thereof). It's called gin in a glass.
- Vodka doesn't "go with everything".
- Conversely, not everything goes with Coke.
- Or orange juice.
- Or tonic.
- Continuing to drink Bloody Marys in this day and age is like continuing to use a Commodore 64. Upgrade to a Caesar and be done with it.
- The best scotch is the kind served at room temperature. And last call.
- Brandy snifters are for pretentious boobs. Use a wine glass.
- Margaritas should never, ever contain limeade, unless you're making them for a party. Then they're called Let's Get Drunk Really Fast.
- Bottled lemon/lime juice is not an acceptable substitute for the real thing.
- Nor is DeKuyper/McGuinness/Marie Brizard triple sec a substitute for Cointreau.
- Nor is Cointreau a substitute for Grand Marnier.
- Nor is anything a substitute for bitters.
- Nor is Southern Comfort a substitute for bourbon.
- Jack Daniel's isn't bourbon, either.
- The Mojito is not a trendoid drink. It's been around as long as, if not longer than, the Daiquiri.
- The Daiquiri does not include strawberries. Or banana.
- Flavored vodka has been around since regular vodka. It's not an invention of the '90s.
- The Cosmopolitan, while in fact an invention of the '90s, is a perfectly legitimate cocktail.
- That said, debating the merits of citrus vodka vs. regular, fresh lime juice vs. Rose's, and the ideal brand of triple sec is like dissecting a Jerry Bruckheimer flick. As long as it turns out pink, you can call it a Cosmo.
- Yes, pink. Not red.
- Rum isn't just for tiki drinks.
- Jager isn't just for rowdy college boys.
- Tequila isn't just for rowdy bachelorette parties.
- Nor is there a worm in a bottle of real tequila. Mezcal is another story. (Scorpions. Scorpions!)
- Grey Goose may be priced at $40 a bottle and have won every award from every spirit competition under the sun, but it's still vodka and it still tastes like nothing. (Albeit a very smooth, very clean nothing.)
- A Pina Colada does not include milk, coconut milk, table cream, or any other kind of dairy product.
- Nor does it include Malibu rum. (HATE.)
- If it doesn't include bitters, it's not a Manhattan.
- Price is not necessarily indicative of quality. Galliano costs more than my home stereo system and it still tastes like crap.
- So does Smirnoff Ice.
- And White Russians. (Seriously, just eat a bowl of sugar.)
- Gin doesn't "bruise".
- A shaken Martini tastes exactly the same as a stirred one, only it's cloudy.
- A vodka martini is a waste of liquor.
- A chocolate martini isn't half bad.
- Nor is an apple martini.
- A pomegranate martini is for people who took the Bonsai Kittens seriously.
- A Dirty Martini is for people who don't like themselves.
- A French Martini is, somehow, the best of all.
- There is no such thing as an Extra Dry Martini (or any variation thereof). It's called gin in a glass.
- Vodka doesn't "go with everything".
- Conversely, not everything goes with Coke.
- Or orange juice.
- Or tonic.
- Continuing to drink Bloody Marys in this day and age is like continuing to use a Commodore 64. Upgrade to a Caesar and be done with it.
- The best scotch is the kind served at room temperature. And last call.
- Brandy snifters are for pretentious boobs. Use a wine glass.
- Margaritas should never, ever contain limeade, unless you're making them for a party. Then they're called Let's Get Drunk Really Fast.
- Bottled lemon/lime juice is not an acceptable substitute for the real thing.
- Nor is DeKuyper/McGuinness/Marie Brizard triple sec a substitute for Cointreau.
- Nor is Cointreau a substitute for Grand Marnier.
- Nor is anything a substitute for bitters.
- Nor is Southern Comfort a substitute for bourbon.
This entry was posted by Darryl, on
Wednesday, November 22, 2006.
You can leave your response.
9:35 AM
Very interesting read! Although i have to say i am more of stirred martini man myself. Top mixologists will go with stirred. The flavour is more balanced and less bitter than the shaken.
Does shaking get it colder? Yes, a bit. You need to work a little more at stirring longer, with the right sized and amount of ice. Or even stirring it ina tin rather than glass. Ideally, you want it cold and diluted, but not too much of either that the flavours will be masked.
Great video here: http://www.beefeatergin.com/mixology/video.php?video=drymartini